PIGS!!! Wild, Feral HOGS!!! trouble, guns, traps, snares, and red/white/blue undies!

NOW these sit by the door awaiting Troy's swift dismissal of the offending culprits who
are destroying my yard!
Namely.....
THE PIGS!

We'd seen that we had visitors of the renegade sort one morning as I awakened to a most troubling sight!
My entire front yard appeared to have been root plowed, and the roots were my
wonderfully lush green yard!
We were furious.... we'd thought the armadillos were bad
and skunks the worst of our worries...
Until!!!
PIGS!!!
Troy had a plan:
wait up and sleep in the car and when the marauding band made their nightly raid..
BOOM... they'd be met with all the firepower that my man could muster!
I think he had every gun in our arsenal loaded and ready in his truck....
just waiting for the moment.
I had images of the old cavalry where they had a series of muskets loaded to fight the enemy with the quickest of responses...
We were ready.

Luckily Troy parked beside the house not in front,
his car would have been a direct hit with this loaded pecan limb!...
not good when you are a man on a mission!

The pen was set up and ready as back up to the plan A attack from the truck
in the cover of darkness didn't pan out as it should!
The pigs had decided to do more damage to the new little green house area behind the barn thus insuring Troy's absolute resolve for their demise.
The back yard was safe as far as we could tell... cattle panel was sufficient detriment to the opportunistic horde.
My grass had a hero and as dusk fell over the night of destruction,
Troy settled into his CHAIR for a few quiet moments
before he took up his stand from the truck. He estimated they'd come in around 3...
so he had a bit of time to rest up before the attack.
About 10:30PM Troy decided it might be more advantageous to have the guns by the door instead of in the car... just in case!
So he headed out the door
He didn't come immediately back, and I heard quite a commotion as I ran to the kitchen...
What I saw looked like something Jerry Clower would tell....
There was my hero...
glasses still beside the bed,
fashionably dressed for comfort in the American flag boxers,
and no shoes on his tender feet.
He had a 4 inch flashlight between his teeth,
and he was madly trying to cock the shotgun
(or whatever gun it is you do that with??) to get off another shot..
I lifted my shoulders in question as he pointed the flashlight to the front yard...
THERE .... THEY'RE already HERE!!!
(sorta said in mumbling fashion necessary with a flashlight in your mouth)
It seems that PIGS are SMART!!!
They do not follow the rules of habit, they just do what they want when they want!
IT WAS BAD!!!!
AS the pigs made a mad dash AWAY from the madman in the flag boxers...
my man decided that since he couldn't really see them without glasses,
he'd just "shoot out amongst them" and maybe hit whatever was in range....
As it turned out.... NOTHING was in range!
A rather disappointing night it was!
IF THEY THINK they're getting in here.... they've got another think coming!
We armed Plan B.... with corn.... LOTS OF IT!!! and our secret ingredient....
Raspberry jello........
It worked.... BIG PIG in the trap
MAD PIG IN THE TRAP!!!
and once again it seems....
Pigs are smart....
If you don't get to the Big PIG in the trap quickly....
THEY JUMP OUT!!!
Evidently pigs don't appreciate comfortably arranged seating areas...
as this was spared their rampage.
My gerbers had just been planted, and they too were spared...
I think my sweet friends were praying for a bit of sanity in this horrible mess....
THANK the LORD...
BUT.... for the moment.... chaos reigns in these other places!
For the past few nights we've been pig free...
Maybe they decided they'd met their match in the barefoot superhero with a flashlight between his teeth, a double barrel shotgun in his grasp, striding confidently onto the front porch right in the middle of their nightly shenanigans.
I think it more likely that it was the fact that Stan, our neighbor trapped 13 of them in one night putting a serious dent in their company.
PIGS!!!!
THEY'RE BAD!!!
side note: I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall when Troy and Stan were trading pig tales... seems that Stan unloaded 17 shots from his handgun into the horde in the wee hours one morning... ALSO going on the Jerry Clower suggestion of "firing amongst them"... ALSO not hitting a one!
Seems that the armadillos and skunks are safe for the time being.... we've got bigger "fish" to fry these days!